PREFACE
It has been suggested more than once, that I write an autobiography. I've considered it brfore but never really did so mostly because I have absolutely no idea how to. But the the thought occured to me, I write a blog, albeit infrequently, I write late-night musings. I have a million an one stories to tell about my life. From some of my earliest memories, to becoming a teen, to growing into adulthood. I can honestly say, there has never been a dull moment. Not ever. Now, i'm going to issue a couple of small warnings before we begin. First, as I have stated on my blog, I am going to share MY memories. If you were there, you may remember things different than I do, and that's ok. If you disagree, write your own book.This is how I remember events. I will tell you now that there will be some very funny stories, and some that may astonish you in many ways, the most common way being that i'm still alive. There will be some dramatic accounts, not fictitious, but dramatic. I will also warn you that there will be accounts of sexual abuse from when I was a child. Be advised, not ALL of this will be easy to read, and this is your only "trigger warning". Proceed with caution, but also with the carnival ride trepidation of "what's around the next corner". All i'm trying to say is that while it may be filled with fun anecdotes, it will be filled with what I remember. Not everyone will be happy with it. I will finish this preface with this very important announcement. I am not responsible for, nor shall I take responsibility for, how anything you read herein makes you feel. My words are my words, my memories are my memories, your responses are your responsibility.
Fair enough? Well then, lets proceed and move forward with some words from a poem I wrote so many years ago.
"So, come with me, as together we play with madness. Journey into the darkness of my mind. You can leave your fears behind, as I have plenty to go around"
CHAPTER 1
It's strange. Now that I finally decide to tell my story, I have no idea how to begin. The youngest memories are really mere flashes of images. Situations, persons, even places. But, how am I to recall the details? It's impossible to hypnotize me and bring out memories. I wouldn't trust those anyhow. I would be certain that the hypnotist would plant ideas that form into false memories. I don't need that at all. Why intentionally fabricate things when the truth can be so very horrible on it's own, and doesn't need additives.
I guess the earliest I an recall, was an apartment complex we lived in. It wasn't the best neighborhood to be found, but it also wasn't the worst. As I recall, the buildings were 2 stories high, and there was law in the very center, and i am almost sure there was either a sandbox or an actual playground. So, there was this kid named Sonny, that was my sometimes friend, sometimes bully. He would take things that were mine, and pick on me. Sometimes he go so far as to hit me. I complained to my parents about is. My dad's response was something along the lines of' "So Kick his little ass." Mom was of the same mindset. One day, I saw Sonny walking up to me, and without a word, I punched his hard in the face and made his nose bleed/ . I remember him going home crying, and me going to our front door of our apartment. I did NOT want to be out there when sunny finally shook it off. I got to the relative safety of home, reached for the doorknob to walk in.....and it wouldn't open. My mother had locked me out of the house. NOT that i was in any trouble, mind you. this was my mom's way of pushing me out of the nest. I remember crying through to door to be let in and she said "No, you two kids need to work this out between you". And here he came. As I recall, he shook my hand, and we were friends fom that day forward.